Wondering if your child is "on the spectrum?"

If you wonder if your child is on one of the three levels of autism, don't go the usual route of determining and seeking a diagnosis. Do NOT spend thousands on psychological tests.

People with autism may have generalized anxiety and even OCD but they are NOT mentally ill, any more than the general population, unless they've been subjected to abuse. Assuming otherwise is discriminatory and incorrect.

It is sad that when you seek photos of children on the spectrum online, you will see photos of children with Downs Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy. NO. Those are separate neurological situations and should not be intertwined in any way. It is grossly unfair and ignorant.

The best way to tell is to have the child meet a counselor who is on the spectrum, themselves. We can feel it in others in a very symbiotic way.

If you want to do a checklist, here's a very good one. All do not need to apply. There is no "yes" or "no" or scoring possible. Why do you think they call it, "the spectrum?".

Autistic Traits and Tendencies

Paul Micalef (Autism From the Inside)

 Hating wearing socks or loving wearing socks all the time (just without seams)

 Always wearing bright colors

 Hating phone calls – both making them and answering them

 Not realizing you’re hungry or thirsty

 Not replying to a text message but thinking about it for a week before deciding it’s too

late to reply anyway

 Hating seams in clothing in general

 Having an unusual sense of humor

 Telling the truth even when you probably shouldn’t

 Feeling out of sync with everyone else in the room/in your group

 Having an obsession with popular culture or an aversion to pop culture

 Over-planning everything

 Not having a strong sense of gender

 Feeling tired all the time for no good reason

 Not liking being told what to do

 Taught self to read before first day of school? Hyperlexic?

 Find comfort in repetition and routine

 Struggle with crowds

 See people as people and forget about constructs like social class and hierarchies

 Have super sensitive hearing

 Have a high pain tolerance

 Over apologizing and assuming everything must be your fault

 Not caring what people think

 Being really good at something completely useless

 Being deadpan sarcastic all the time

 Preferring face to face communication to avoid misunderstanding

 Struggling to find an appropriate gap in group conversation

 Constant background anxiety

 Being overly empathic

 Relate to animals more easily than to humans

 Avoiding trying new things

 Eating the same food every day

 Finding inappropriate things funny

 Not liking to be touched

 Tendency to notice small details

 Hating fluorescent lights and downlights

 Always wanting to understand WHY?

 Enjoying repetition

 Having a terrible sense of humor

 Thinking in pictures

 Have a flat affect, also known as resting bitch face

 Prefer to pace back and forth vs sitting still

 Sit on chairs and couches in non-standard way

 Try to imitate other people

 Have a favorite thing that goes with you everywhere

 Get excited and interrupting people

 Going over social interactions again and again in your head

 Seeing patterns in everything

 Having a very very good memory for some things and a terrible memory for others

 Preferring non-verbal forms of communication

 Hating to brush your teeth

 Having a monotone voice

 Difficulty identifying your emotions because they feel all jumbled together

 Getting overwhelmed by too many tasks at once

 Watching the same TV series or movie over and over again

 Feeling awkward in groups

 Love thinking outside the box

 Having brilliant ideas that no one else seems to understand

 Struggle to read between the lines in complex social situations

 Preferring written communication because you can spend hours perfecting and saying

exactly what you want to say in attempt to avoid miscommunication

 Two-speed productivity: either super fast, super efficient or nothing at all

 Compartmentalizing experiences from different parts of your life

 Feel comfortable being alone

 Being happy with very few material comforts

 Always finishing what you start even if you probably should stop (e.g. bad book)

 Scripting conversations in advance or spending hours thinking what you could have said

even after the moment has passed

 Being the kind of person who people think, “How can someone so clever be so stupid?”

 Constantly too much or not enough in any given realm

 Not talking by age 2 or talking in full sentences by age 2 both are signs of atypical

development

 Miss what others catch but catch what others miss

 Being really good at things other people find hard and really bad at other things people

find easy

 Money, social status, titles don’t mean much to you

 Good at adapting yourself to your surroundings so you don’t feel like the odd one out

 Feel quite alive and stimulated much of the time in safe environments

 Feel drained and tired in social settings

 Drawn to people who are misfits, socially different, neurodivergent, diagnosed with

autism

 Difficulty understanding workplace socialization: nothing really goes on and people

stand around and talk facing each other making eye contact and talk for an extended

period of time; feels like torture to you

 Hate multitasking

 Tend to ask too many questions

 May not be able to tie your shoes or remember left/right, but can fix a typewriter or tell

every detail of a book you read

 Find yourself identifying as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) On the MBTI, you

come out as INTJ, INFJ, INTP, ISTJ, INFP (92% I, 76% T, 74% N, 62% J)

 By population, overall percentages of the least common types.

 Tendency to be chronically ill

 In constant struggle with your sensory issues

 Heightened feelings of emotional intensity

 Easily end up feeling overwhelmed, especially out in public

 Constantly feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable

 Often lonely and isolated

 In constant conflict with the “neuro-majority”

 Chronically disappointing people but unsure how/why

 Under or unemployed

 Don’t know what to do or say at parties and end up talking one on one in a

corner

 When overwhelmed may have meltdowns

 Sensory overwhelm in general

 Sounds are too loud or too unevenly spaced or random (e.g. hate the sound of dice

shaking in a cup, clock ticking, snoring, smoke alarms, chewing, multiple people talking)

 Lights are too bright (or flickery, etc.)

 Example: “I hear things so well that it can make it challenging to hear in a crowded space.

I have a hard time hearing my friend across the table in a noisy restaurant. Or highly

sensitive hearing meant I heard EVERYTHING and that sometimes my brain couldn’t

discern what was more important. Thus, sometimes I will hear background machinery

better than the person sitting in front of me.” – Jackie Schuld

 Your intense and sensitive feelings get hurt more easily than for most, which could lead

to obsessing and ruminating over it

 Tend to mask a lot (e.g. hide stims, don’t speak up, copy others)

 Trouble regulating emotions if you can’t stim

 Stimming- (cracking knuckles, picking at skin & scabs/nails, nail biting, rocking, rubbing

hands or feet together, cheek/lip biting, hair twirling, hair pulling out, flicking fingers,

flapping hands, spinning, bouncing leg, humming, tweeze hairs)

 Feel chronically confused by neurotypicals and not know what’s going on with most of

society; existing on a different wavelength

 At a disadvantage with communication in this capitalist society

 More at risk for being abused and manipulated

 More likely to be bullied by your peers and feel socially isolated

 Intense need to please people

 Social anxiety, or fear of public speaking, or fear of being known, or fear of being open

and vulnerable

 Trouble with changes and accepting those changes and transitions

 Hate making eye contact when you are listening or talking or both

 Proprioception issues – feel “floaty”, unreal, spacey & benefit from weighted blanket

 EDS –hypermobile type, diagnosis

 POTS diagnosis

 MCAS or MCS diagnosis

 ADHD correlates [Bruises more easily than most; mystery bruises

 Poor gut health and stomach issues, gassy and bloated

 Skin conditions – psoriasis, dermatitis, roseacea, acne, dandruff, eczema

 Food sensitivities

 Worse than average acne and skin problems

 Sprained ankles & loose ligaments a lot as a kid]

 Tendency to hyperfocus on things you are really interested in

 Have super intense interests that have been with you for years

 Prefer socializing one on one or in small groups of friends vs larger groups

 You avoid crowds and busy places when possible

 Like your own personal space and time away from others at home and work

 Hate disruptions to your routine

 Have a pretty set daily routine

 Very sensitive to medications

 Might look much more like your mental image of a privileged person than one of a

disabled person

 Living with autism is exhausting and stressful. May lose energy quickly in a conversation if

it feels fraught or if the other person’s questions feel more like an inquisition. 

 Wide variety of negative and positive characteristics in seven areas: Sensory, Body,

Learning/Thinking, Emotions, Passions/Talents, Social, & Other

 You might like eye contact and conversations

 You might have plenty of empathy (even too much at times) and be interested in

friendships and relationships

 More likely to be innovative and creative

 May have excelled academically and be very intelligent

 High intelligence may have helped you learn to mask and camouflage more obvious

autistic traits, especially if you were AFAB

 Boys far more likely to display external behaviors such as outbursts and stimming

 Girls are adept at holding everything inside; feel different or weird but hide it

 Girls and women are often experiencing depression and anxiety

 Have numerous idiosyncrasies

 May struggle with physical health conditions (e.g. GI problems, EDS, joint and muscle

pain, fatigue, POTS, headaches/migraines, allergies, chemical and medication

sensitivities)

 May be considered a loner

 May be more sensitive to pain and discomfort

 Others may mistake your overwhelm for anxiety

 Often speak in a direct and blunt manner, very straightforward

 Quite literal in your thinking

 Someone talking loudly may feel like an intolerable assault on your senses and you just

want to say “Can you shut up because it’s hurting my ears?”

 You are lost without full context of something

 Have a hard time letting things go, especially if they really matter to you

 As a child you felt very shy and fragile, that the world was too much and too big

 May have been a rebellious teenager

 You may be or may have been non-speaking

 May speak loudly

 Others may have called you rude

 May have trouble interpreting others’ body language

 Trouble figuring out people’s facial expressions and may lack “normal” facial expressions

 Intense need for a lot of alone time and quiet

 Rules and schedules and lists are super important and hard to vary from

 May have befriended other marginalized kids

 Spent a lot of time trying to figure out others’ motivations

 May have trouble remembering names and/or faces

 You are a keen observer of others

 You enjoyed reading when other kids enjoyed playing with each other

 May be overly honest and answer questions directly

 Have felt embarrassed, inept, foolish, naïve, defective

 You are more gullible than average

 Re-read the same book or re-watch the same TV show or movie or listen to a

song/album over and over; read all books by same author

 For example, one woman tends to watch shows that have the most number of episodes,

not because she particularly likes the show itself, but simply because she likes the

knowledge that she can keep watching it for a long time and that it will remain mostly

the same, with only small changes. Long series with many seasons.

 Might have had strong analytical and writing skills advanced for your age but have been

socially immature and unable to sit around and talk to your peers

 Hate small talk and much prefer getting to know someone at a deeper level

 When you go for a job interview you have notes and questions with you

 May collect things to the detriment of space – Beanie Babies, rocks/crystals, action

figures, Lego sets, etc.

 Hates having windows open – hear too many external noises or dislike wind, breezes

 May mask all day at work, then unmask at home (may look like a meltdown)

 Finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling

 Getting very anxious about social situations

 Find it hard to make friends or prefer to be on your own

 Seeming blunt, rude, or not interested in others without meaning to

 Finding it hard to say how you feel (alexithymia)

 Take things very literally & struggle to understand sarcasm

 Adhere to the same routine every day and get very anxious if it changes

 Not understanding social rules

 Avoidance of eye contact

 Get too close to other people or getting very upset if someone touches or gets too close

to you

 Notice small details, patterns, smells or sounds that others do not

 Have a very keen interest in certain subjects or activities

 Like to plan things very carefully in advance

Things you may have noticed as a child:

 Being labeled gifted, sensitive, shy or all 3

 Anxiety around group situations (ex: in PE, group projects, get-togethers)

 Enjoying time alone (draw, conversations in your head, solitude, music)

 Frequent sickness/pain

 Confusion about birthday parties

 Eating the same thing every day

 Difficulty navigating peer relationships

 Creating systems of organization

 Preferring visual learning over auditory learning

 Preferring to interact with teachers over peers

Social communication and social interaction

Some of the characteristics that adults with an autism diagnosis commonly

report, include:

 You may find it difficult to join conversations

 You may attempt to dominate conversations and bring the topic around to

things that interest you

 You may find small talk difficult

 You may find two-way conversations and taking turns in talk difficult to do

 You may have difficulty in understanding and responding to non-literal

language, such as metaphors and sarcasm

 You may speak in a flat, monotone voice, or use repetitive language

 You may use your own unique phrases and expressions

 You may make unexpected or unusual facial expressions or gestures

when speaking with people

 You may have difficulty in understanding the thoughts or feelings of others

 You may find that other people have difficulty in understanding your

thoughts or feelings or miss understanding what you are communicating

 It may be difficult for you to comprehend or respond to the facial

expressions or body language of others, or to read social cues

 Other people tell you that they have difficulty understanding how you are

thinking or feeling

 You may be very direct in your assessments of people and things

 Maintaining eye contact during interactions with others may be difficult, or

 You may have difficulty in establishing and maintaining close friendships.

Repetitive or restricted behaviour, interests or activities

Some of the characteristics that adults with an autism diagnosis commonly

report, include:

 You may enjoy routine and schedules, and can become upset or anxious

when they are changed or not adhered to

 There are repetitive daily rituals and routines that you like to follow

 You may become upset when unexpected things happen

 You may get bothered if others move or rearrange your possessions

 You may make noises that others find unexpected

 You may have very specific interests and hobbies to which you devote a

lot of time

 You may find it difficult to multi-task

 You may have very strong reactions to sensory stimuli, or alternatively no

reaction at all. This can apply to noises, sounds, smells, tastes and

textures, or

 You may prefer to do things on your own, both at work and at home.